Move over, James Bond! Strong Bad's here to show you how it's done in his hand-crafted cinematic masterpiece. You play Dangeresque, a dirty cop in pursuit of action and big sacks of cash. Can our hero defeat his arch-nemesis and save the world? Looks like he's gonna have to jump...
Learn more on the game's official website!
After four and a half years in production, Strong Bad has finally finished his cinematic masterpiece, Dangeresque 3: The Criminal Projective!
You play Strong Bad, who's playing crooked cop Dangeresque in the movie. After the opening cutscene, the game starts in Dangeresque's office. Someone's knocking on the door. Better answer it!
Could it be a gorgeous dame in desperate need of help? Nope, just Dangeresque's partner Renaldo (played by Coach Z) and Dangeresque's on-again, off-again, sometimes other partner with the same name, Dangeresque Too (played by Homestar Runner). They're here for Renaldo's retirement party.
Take a look at the table by the door. There are two items here: Dangeresque's trusty nunchuk gun, and a broken half of a paperweight given to him by his father years ago. Take both. You can pull the nunchuk gun on most of the characters in the game—keep that in mind! As for the paperweight, show it to Renaldo and Dangeresque Too to see what they have to say about it. Then talk to both of them to hear a bit about each character and Renaldo's upcoming retirement.
Okay, that was fun. Now what? Try going to the door. Right on cue (sort of), there's a knock! It's Cutesy Buttons (played by Marzipan) with her plant Credenza in tow. She has a job for Dangeresque. She wants him to recover a formula that will save the rainforest from deep in the jungles of Strongborneo. Sounds dangerous (or… Dangeresque?) Renaldo's in, but Dangeresque Too says he has something much more important to do. That's ominous…
Talk to Cutesy Buttons. When you ask about the paperweight, she'll say that she and her sister have lockets that look like that. They're two halves of a—wait; this isn't a dumb girl's locket! Forget it, this dame doesn't know what she's talking about. Look out the window. Apparently Cutesy's not a big fan of the shark pond.
Pick up Credenza the plant and the can of soda, then open the map and go to Strongborneo.
With a little paint and some potted plants, Strong Badia has been transformed into a treacherous jungle! Take a look around for the long-lost formula.
Select the Stop sign on the fence. Clearly this is meant to scare people off. So what is it hiding? Get out your nunchuk gun and shoot the stop sign. It falls away to reveal a secret area for hiding items! Try reaching into the hole. Dangeresque's hand is too big, so Renaldo steps in. Just then, a western lowland grisly sharkasaurusbot appears! (And it's holding a shark!) Renaldo is trapped. Now you need to save your partner and the long-lost rainforest formula!
Use the nunchuk gun on the western lowland grisly sharkasaurusbot. He takes down the monster and Renaldo is able to get his hand back through the hole, but in the struggle he squeezed the formula so hard it's turned to dust in his hands! Not to worry, a visit to deranged rocket scientist Professor Experimento should do the trick.
As you enter the secret lab, Professor Experimento hurls a pair of safety scissors at you. Hey, that's not nice! As Dangeresque pulls his nunchuk gun, Renaldo steps in to maintain the peace. We're here for a favor, not a showdown. Take the safety scissors from the wall, and then talk to Professor Experimento (a.k.a. Pom-Pom) about the formula.
Experimento says he'll recreate the formula if Dangeresque recovers the disc containing the secret launch codes for his ruby-powered rocket, which has been stolen. Dangeresque agrees, and Experimento lays out the ingredients he needs to reproduce the formula: a bubbly drink, the rare stickanee flower, and some yellow hair. Looks like we'll be scouring the streets of Brainblow City tonight!
Before you leave, you may want to check out the space simulator by the door (it's the Videlectrix Fun Machine in disguise!) This month, the game is called Space Circus Catastrophe. Follow the on-screen instructions to play. The objective is to beam up the circus performers, shoot the evil clowns, and avoid the stale snack food at all costs!
Select Brainblow City from the map. From here, you can visit most of the locations that are usually accessible from the field. (Renaldo will hang out by the wall and wait for you.) Head left until you reach The Stick. There's a flower growing from it. Could this be the rare "stickanee" flower? Take it.
Keep going left, past the whale, to the shark pond. Take Credenza the plant out of your inventory and toss it into the shark pond. Cutesy's not going to like this. Open the map and select Dangeresque's office.
You can try asking Cutesy for some yellow hair, but she won't give you any. Select the window. She'll look outside and see Credenza in the shark pond. While she's distracted, use the safety scissors to snip off some of Cutesy's hair.
If you didn't grab the soda can already, do so now. You have all three ingredients, time to give them to Professor Experimento and get that formula!
Give Experimento the yellow hair, stickanee flower, and the Diet Brown. Once you have given him all three items, he'll get to work recreating the formula. Another case solved! Head back to the office to give it to Cutesy.
Back at the office, Cutesy has gone missing! In her place, there is a recording featuring a very familiar-looking villain who claims credit for the kidnapping. There must be some way to figure out who did this. Reynaldo suggests speaking to Baron Darin Diamonocle (played by Bubs), Dangeresque's former foe and current resident of Brainblow City Prison. Diamonocle should be able to offer some tips on how to identify the kidnapper and carry out the rescue. Had to the prison and speak with him, post-haste.
Behind a rather unconvincing set of cardboard steel bars, Diamonocle, played by Bubs, seems to have put his criminal past behind him. Talk to him: It sounds like he needs to be persuaded to help you, but choosing either the "good" or "evil" dialogue paths will suffice. He tells you that you need to find the man with the plan (or rather, plans, also known as blueprints to where Cutesy is being held), as well as an expert kidnapping solver. He goes on to reveal that that Perducci, Dangeresque's nemesis, is the person to seek out for the first item. Perducci is located at the Old Club (played by Club Technochocolate).
However, he tells you to talk to Renaldo about the identity of this crack kidnapping solver. What has your partner been hiding from you? Talk to Renaldo, and he'll reveal that this expert is really your long-lost father, Dadgeresque, who went crazy after he was unable to solve one particularly troublesome kidnapping. He was last seen in Venice. First, let's pay a visit to the mostly abandoned Old Club.
Perducci (played by the King of Town) and his somehow bulletproof henchman Killingyouguy (playing himself, played by Strong Mad) are positioned behind a Vegas-style gaming table when you enter this dark and dreary former nightclub. They taunt you with the blueprints you need, but you won't be able to get them unless you can beat Perducci at his own game. And that game is Rock, Paper, Baccarat. Once you tell Perducci to deal, Dangeresque will be dealt two cards, and he must place a card on the table first. You seem to get a random mish-mash of cards from various games in your hand, and it doesn't really matter which card you play first.
Being the sneaky guy that he is, Perducci will find a way to beat your best card by drawing the Ace of Spades; it's not in the original stack of cards, but will be in subsequent games. Tell Perducci to shuffle the deck, and you will see that the backs of these cards are quite unique from each other. Keep telling him to shuffle until you see the card-back that looks most like a traditional playing card. When he deals this time, you will get the Ace in your hand. Play that card, and he'll respond by playing…a rock?! Looks like you lost again, because nothing beats rock (except paper).
However, Perducci is too busy boasting to his henchman about the victory to notice that he left the rock on the card table. Grab it, and have Perducci deal again. Play the rock, and Perducci will have no other recourse than to throw the plans down on the table to "defeat" you. He'll continue to stand there gloating while the plans just sit there on the table, so go ahead and take them. Hah! Perducci is completely crushed (once he receives some useful direction from Strong Bad), and will exit the club along with his Henchman, who carts off that excellent portrait of a guy with a big knife. You should now move on to the next phase: Finding Dadgeresque in Venice. Head there now.
There's no time to take in the lush, totally authentic Venetian scenery (carefully portrayed by the Stone Bridge); it's time to confront Dangeresque's long-lost father (played, sort of, by Senor Cardgage). Walk over to the riverbank and talk to him, first about Dangeresque, and then about the half-trinket you picked up back at the office. He'll reveal—you know, in his own way—that Dangeresque must go to the Mall-vies Catacombs to solve a kidnapping that he was unable to solve himself. After this enlightening discussion, head to the catacombs to see if we can crack this mystery wide open.
It looks like there's a mural painted on one of the walls in the first room. Examine it…it must be a clue left by Dangeresque's father. Proceed into the next room by going through those authentic-looking doors. That was easy…now to rescue the—oh, there's another set of doors, and these ones don't budge. There's a puzzle on the wall with a bunch of delicious-looking symbols and a blank square in the middle. You can switch the image that displays in a particular square, but it will reset once you leave the puzzle. This is clearly related to the mural in the previous room, so run back there and check it out.
In this drawing, there are four squares filled, and four blank corner squares. The center square is a heart; perhaps if you solve the puzzle you'll see that symbol appear in the center. The goal here is to fill in all 8 squares in the puzzle with the corresponding images in this mural. There are squiggly lines connecting blank squares to the correct food/item, so you can trace the paths to the object that belongs in each square with your finger. If you're having trouble following along, the solution is as follows:
|Bowl of salsa (brown bowl)||Burrito||Cheesy nachos (blue platter)|
|Sombrero (hat)||Secret Panel||Dessert plate (cherry on top)|
|Hard-shell taco||Margarita (green drink)||Chili pepper|
Once you enter this combination, the secret panel will slide open, revealing what appears to be the other half of the trinket in your possession. Oh no! A horrible and expensive-effects octo-saurus monster (played by Strong Sad) appears behind the second set of doors! He has a heart-shaped hole in his chest. Run over to the puzzle and use your trinket on the one in the secret panel. It transforms into a legendary blood-soaked albino griffin prism heart, or something. Use the heart on the monster, and he'll be defeated (and have a bunch of boxes dumped on him). Proceed into the next room, where you'll find the now-grownup kidnapping victim (played by The Poopsmith). Talk to the victim, and you'll receive a newspaper to show to your dad proving that you solved the case he drove himself crazy trying to solve. You'll follow Dadgeresque to the kidnapper's hideout, winding up on the roof their complex.
It's an ambush! You've been set up by your sometime-other-partner with the same name, Dangeresque Too—or should we say…Uzi Bazooka?! (Yes, we should). He's got the launch codes stolen from Professor Experimento, and worse, he just shot Dadgeresque! Dangeresque and Renaldo are now now in a standoff against Uzi, the Cheat (his character's identity has not been revealed yet), and Killingyouguy.
Cutesy Buttons is held captive behind the villains, and must make her way to the other side of the roof to steal back the launch codes. However, if she is spotted by the bad guys, she'll have to move back to the start position. Depending on whom you point your nunchuk gun toward, she will be able to make her way safely behind Uzi and grab the disk. First, point the gun at Uzi. He and KYG will move forward and Cutesy will slip behind the big guy. Point your gun at Killingyouguy next, and she'll move behind the Cheat. Next, aim at the Cheat, and she'll be positioned behind Uzi. Finally, aim at Uzi again, and she'll swipe the plans while he's distracted.
Uzi orders Killingyouguy to chase you down…looks like we're gonna have to jump! Renaldo, Cutesy and Dangeresque land safely and scatter so as to avoid capture. Cut to big D driving Dangecaresque (played by the Cool Car), being pursued by Killingyouguy!
Cutesy is going to catch up to you in the helicopter, but you must evade Killingyouguy long enough for her to get there…and your brakes have been cut! Once you switch to auto-autopilot, Dangeresque will get out onto the roof of the car. We have to get KYG off Dangeresque's tail; fortunately, the car has been modified with all kinds of secret weapons and gadgets. Click on the auto-pilot and you'll be presented with a series of voice commands: Smoke, oil, sawmerang hubcaps, spring-loaded hatch, emergency brake (too bad the brakes are cut!), and missiles (that only fire forward, sadly). Select the sawmerang; it's the icon that looks like a regular circular saw blade. Around this time, Cutesy Buttons will appear flying a rescue helicopter. You'll need to find a way to grab onto the helicopter skid from the car; for now, though, focus on taking out Killingyouguy. Since there isn't a vehicle to shred right next to his car, go ahead and have Dangeresque take the sawmerang blade. Carefully, he will extract the blade and put it in his inventory.
Next, slow the big guy down by releasing some oil into his path via the autopilot commands. While Killingyouguy is slipping, toss the sawmerang at him, which will send him to the ground briefly. He'll get back up and be further back than he was before. Next, open the hatch of the car through the autopilot. It looks as if the hatch is high enough that Dangeresque could jump to the helicopter, but it won't support his weight by itself. Let's put the big guy to use; jump down to the front of the car to slow down, which will make Killingyouguy catch up to where he's actually under the open hatch of the car. Jump to the roof of the car, and then to the hatch, and Dangeresque will make an epic leap into the helicopter.
Once Dangeresque is on board, he'll hand the rainforest potion over to Cutesy. She's going to start a nursery in her back yard to start rebuilding the rainforest. As soon as she parachutes out of the helicopter, Uzi Bazooka's voice will come through on Dangeresque's…phone. He's kidnapped Renaldo and taken him to his secret space station on the Sun! Professor Experimento has a rocket lying around, perhaps it could be borrowed. Head over to his secret lab.
Dangeresque again walks into a tense situation, as the good professor is being held at big-knifepoint by Sultry Buttons, some kind of femme fatale with some kind of relation to Cutesy Buttons. It turns out that she and Dangeresque have a history, and that Dangeresque left her years ago after a romantic night in Paris, where he gave her a rare Stickanee flower. She's since turned to a life of crime, and has stolen the ruby needed for the ruby-powered rocket. Despite his best efforts to convince her otherwise, Sultry leaves with the ruby. The professor also needs those launch codes, which Cutesy Buttons stole back from Uzi during that dramatic rooftop scene. Grab the photo and the big knife out of the wall of the secret lab. Pay Cutesy a visit at her house (it will appear as an option to stick on your crime computer after this exchange).
You arrive in the enriched garden / plant hospital of Cutesy Buttons' house (played by Marzipan's back yard), where she's busy rebuilding the rainforest, or something similarly boring. Ask her about t he launch code disk, and she'll reveal that she gave it to Perducci in exchange for a sapling topiary. Awesome. Now you'll have to track him down at his last known location: Venice. Ask her if there are any more Stickanee flowers lying around—you know, in case Dangeresque wanted to rekindle some of the romance he shared with Sultry Buttons—and she'll respond that the one you clipped earlier was the last one; perhaps if you had a sample of the original plant, you could use her enriched garden to regrow it! First though, let's try and track down those codes. To Venice!
When you arrive, Sultry is already here, but leaves before you can say anything to her. Go look at the empty podium. The world's solidest-gold nugget has been stolen—it looks as though Sultry is going to keep stealing the most valuable stuff in the world, but there's not much we can do about it right now. Talk to the mustachioed Informant (played by Strong Sad). He calls himself Stinky the Peeve, but yeah, let's just stick to "Informant" for now. You'll see why in just a bit. He claims to be a psychic advisor sent to help you on this quest, and if you give him any item, he can tell you its significance. Ask him about Perducci, and he'll tell you that the corpulent villain has fled the country, but that if you have any item he has touched, the psychic informant will be able to give more information about his current whereabouts. When you end the conversation, the informant will mention that he has three other brothers at different global locations that can also help you.
Let's see, we still have those blueprints and the rock, which were both Perducci's at one point. Show the rock to the Informant, and he'll say that Perducci might be headed to Tokyo. Show the blueprints to the Informant, and he'll say that they originated in Ireland. While we're at it, go ahead and show the knife and photo (belonging to Sultry Buttons) to the Informant, and he'll suggest that she wishes she could recreate the happy moment in the photo. Well, it's time to get airborne again. Go ahead and travel to Tokyo first.
Arriving at Tokyo (which appears somewhat similar to Venice, amazingly enough), you'll see that Sultry is again just on her way out. Take a look at the mysterious object underneath the stone bridge. It's that awesome painting we saw being carted off by Perducci and Killingyouguy after you beat them at cards. There's another Informant-looking-guy here, so let's talk to him. He apparently goes by the name "Stoolie Ratweasel". He's a double agent working both sides for information, and can provide some details on an item if you show it to him. Talk to him about the painting, and he'll claim that he worked with Perducci to steal it from an ancient temple in Japan. That doesn't really help us find him now, though. Ask about Perducci, and he'll say that he might be headed to a safe house in Paris. There's something that doesn't seem quite trustworthy about this guy, so let's head over to Ireland instead.
Sultry is making another hasty exit here; we'll have to catch up to her at some point. Talk to the Informant again. This time it's Cecil VanGough, a well-respected art critic and collector. Seems like the ideal person ask about the painting! Do so, and Cecil will curiously report that it was stolen from the Mummy's tomb in Cairo, back in 1963. This doesn't quite mesh with what the guy in Tokyo said. Ask this guy about Perducci, and he'll tell you that he's probably going to try to sell a valuable painting in Cairo, since Cecil doesn't deal in stolen goods. Time to hop on another plane…
Talk to the Informant here. It turns out he's a fence known only as the Moving Man; someone who helps in the buying and selling of stolen goods. If you ask him about Perducci, he'll say he just sent him off to Tokyo. Bah. Ask him about the painting, and he'll say that it was stolen from the Mummy's tomb in the Fall, which seems to corroborate what the brother in Ireland said. Let's head to Paris to see if we can catch up with Sultry, or perhaps find Perducci's safe house.
Sultry's another step ahead of us for now, so go talk to the Informant here. He appears to be some kind of psychological profiler, and could give some insight on Perducci. Ask him about the painting, and he'll reveal that that painting appears in an old case file of his from the Fall of 1963, which matches up with what the brothers in Cairo and Ireland have said so far. Wait a minute, there seems to be an extra Informant brother here: Venice, Tokyo, Ireland, Cairo, and Paris…Stinky said he only had three brothers. Let's go talk to the one in Tokyo, because his information doesn't seem to match up to what the other ones have been saying.
Pull out your nunchuk gun and aim it at the Informant. When he asks Dangeresque what makes him so sure that he's lying, select the Japanese Temple dialogue option. Since two brothers have confirmed that it was stolen from the Mummy's tomb, this guy's story doesn't hold water. It turns out that this guy isn't merely protecting Perducci, he is Perducci! He demands his painting back, and during the struggle, the diskette containing the launch information flies from the back of the frame. Dangeresque grabs it and Perducci slinks away in defeat.
Now we've got the codes, but we still need to track down Sultry Buttons to get the ruby to power the ruby-powered rocket. We should try to get hold of another Stickanee flower and place it on the podium in Paris. Head to the Stickanee Tree in Brainblow City.
Take the large knife out and use it on the stick to cut off a branch from the Stick. Head over to Cutesy's house and place the branch in the enriched soil. Voila! It's a brand new Stickanee flower. Grab it and fly over to Paris (once Cutesy is done with her soliloquy about the ecosystem).
Place the flower on the podium. Well, now what? You'd better get Dangeresque out of sight to see if she'll take the bait. Click on Paris again on your crime computer map. Sultry Buttons will be standing there waiting for you as you walk into the scene. Dangeresque offers to shower her with jewels—you know, if he had some—and Sultry offers some of her collection up for said showering: The ruby for the rocket, and the rare diamond-tipped diamond! Dangeresque suggests a venue change: Hawaii, at dawn. Sultry takes the bait and heads off, leaving Dangeresque with the valuables. Now that she's been ditched, it's time to head to the sun, by way of Professor Experimento's lab. Head there now.
Give Experimento the launch codes and ruby. The scene will change and you'll be in the cockpit of a totally authentic and not-cardboard spacecraft. You'll need to make your way to the secret space station on the sun (visual effects provided by this month's fun machine game, Space Circus Catastrophe!). The objective is fairly straightforward: shoot anything that's a clown, dodge any massive circus-food asteroids (by heading away from the direction it's coming at you—head right if it's coming from the left, head down if it's coming from above, etc.), and rescue everything else with the bubble shields. Dangeresque should arrive at the sun after he rescues five non-clown circus performers.
Dangeresque will infiltrate the secret space station on the sun owned by Uzi Bazooka, but there doesn't appear to be anyone in the first room. Examine the airlock, and then head through the door on the right. Renaldo is tied to some sort of control console, and the seemingly-traitorous Dangeresque Too is there as well. He insists that he hasn't betrayed you; a claim that seems to be backed up by the fact that Uzi Bazooka has just walked through the door! It turns out that Dangeresque Too has been trying to solve this on his own the whole time, and Uzi Bazooka is merely an imposter. Uzi and D-Too have a brief argument and then proceed to battle it out. You'll have to take the shot to settle this! It doesn't matter which Homestar you shoot; your, erm, bullet, will find the imposter.
Your shot will expose Uzi Bazooka's circuitry. That's right, he's just a robot, working for the real villain of the story…Craig (played by the Cheat). He sets Uzi Bazooka on you while he attempts an escape. Dangeresque Too chases after Craig, while you get to handle the big guy.
Take a look at that plasma solar drill. It's too heavy to move yourself, but it will probably take out Uzi if we can maneuver it a bit. Click on the orbital control panel. You'll have the option to change the orbit of the station to left or right, which will jostle everything around just a bit as you change direction. Select "orbit right". The drill will slide back towards the wall and the drill tip will rise. Move the blocker out of the way by clicking on it, and go ahead and affix the diamond-tipped diamond to the tip of the drill for a little bit more…drill…itude. Go to the orbital controls again and click "orbit left". The drill will strike Uzi Bazooka right in his exposed circuit board, a fatal blow. There's no time for sentimentality, though. Dangeresque Too's in trouble. Head to the next room and give Craig a swift kick into the airlock by clicking on him. He's sucked into the blackness of space, but the "stace spaction" seems to be falling apart…looks like we're gonna have to jump!
Congratulations, you've finished production on Dangeresque 3: The Criminal Projective! Now all you have to do is escape the angered cast and crew. See you next month!
It's time once again to fully realize your (well, Strong Bad's) potential for greatness. Even if you've uncovered some of this stuff already, this guide will take you from merely kind of cool to fully Awesomesque.
There are twelve items for you to collect that are scattered through the movie sets of Dangeresque 3: The Criminal Projective. Some of these items are buried, and you'll need the trusty Taranchula Black Metal detector, which you get in the Catacombs set.
There are seven hidden costume items that contribute to your awesomeness in this game.
Don't take any guff from these support characters. Show them you mean business by using the Nunchuck gun on them.
You get a point here when a celebrity is referenced in the dialogue. Here are the six that count toward your awesomeness rating:
There are a few flubs that occurred during the making of Dangeresque 3. Thankfully, most of them are firmly located in the outtakes and extended scenes, but there are a few that you need to get during normal play. Thirteen of these count toward your Awesomeness total.
To maximize your awesomeness, you'll need to score 15000 points or more in this game, which will probably take you until the Mars or Mercury (moving inward from Pluto in the Solar System) level. If you can avoid taking damage from the debris and characters, this shouldn't be too tricky, it's just a matter of not getting your controls mixed up! Since you need to play a short version of this game to complete the main storyline, you should have some familiarity with the objective. Shoot the clowns, rescue any other characters with bubble shields, and avoid the food-shaped asteroids by heading in the opposite direction to which they are advancing on you.
You should have your awesomeness nicely wrapped up now. See you for the final installment!