When Strong Bad's plans to beat the snot out of Homestar backfire, he ends up with an unwanted houseguest cramping his style. Now he needs to get life back to normal, by any means possible.
This walkthrough does tell you how to complete the story part of Homestar Ruiner. It does not give away all of the Easter eggs and achievements. You'll have to find those on your own!
It's just an ordinary day in the House of Strong. Watch the opening musical number. Well? Can you handle Strong Bad's style?
As all good Strong Bad cartoons do, the game opens with an email. Eddie M. in Frenchtown, CA wants to know if Strong Bad plans to beat the snot out of Homestar. Sure, why not? He's probably down at Coach Z's track. But before heading down there, let's take a look around the house.
Exit the computer room and go downstairs. Walk left through the kitchen and across the hall to Strong Bad's bedroom. Look at the drawing table. This is where Strong Bad creates Teen Girl Squad comics. What's the purpose of these comics? Simple: To cause the deaths of all four teen girls, the gorier the better.
To create a comic, drag the items at the bottom of the screen onto the teen girls. The counter in the lower right corner shows how many plays you get on each screen. As you use items on the girls, Strong Bad will either laugh if you did well, or groan if you didn't.
Teen Girl Squad is just for fun—you don't have to "win" to finish the story portion of Homestar Ruiner—but the better you do, the higher your awesomeness rating will be! (We'll have more on that in a second.)
Exit Teen Girl Squad. The first time you do this, Strong Bad will comment that he had some great TGS ideas written down, but now they're missing. Maybe you can find them?
Walk to the left. There's a metal detector by the wall. Take it. Then select the Videlectrix Fun Machine to play Snake Boxer 5. Follow the on-screen instructions for the PC or Wii controls.
Play Snake Boxer 5 for as long as you want. When you quit, Strong Bad will say that he has a cheat code for Snake Boxer 5's controversial hidden mode written down in the game manual, but the manual is missing!
There's nothing else to do around here, so let's check out Strong Bad's map and the game's achievement system. Select the map icon. First you'll need to add Coach Z's track to the map. Move the cursor to the area on the map where you want the track to be and left-click (PC) or press A (Wii) to place it. Now, use the arrows to the right and left of the map to scroll through the other pages. In addition to the map, you also have a collectibles page and Strong Bad's "How Much I Rule" chart. These will fill up as you play the game. (Your current scores for Teen Girl Squad and Snake Boxer 5 should already be listed on the chart!) Fulfill as many of the achievements as you can to achieve the highest possible Awesomeness level!
Okay, that's enough goofing around. Select Coach Z's track from the map.
Homestar Runner is here doing lunges and squats. Talk to him and you'll learn that he's warming up for the Free Country USA Triannual Race to the End of the Race. His girlfriend Marzipan is going to throw him a big victory party after the race, but Strong Bad wasn't invited. You can also ask about the Snake Boxer 5 manual. Homestar says he borrowed it, and then gave it to Marzipan for a papier-mâché project.
End the conversation with Homestar. He'll immediately get a phone call from Marzipan about the party. The call leaves him a little stressed out, and after tossing his phone aside, Homestar goes into the locker room to reacquire his game face.
After this sequence, Marzipan's house will be available on the map. Before you go there, walk over to the bleachers and pick up Homestar's phone. Keep walking toward the right and talk to Coach Z. He's pretty focused on the race. Ask about the race and you'll learn about the obstacle course and the coveted prize, the Silver Trophy of Ultimate Destiny. Naturally, Strong Bad wants to join this race, but Coach Z says that the deadline to enter has passed. Only two people are allowed to compete: Homestar and Pom Pom.
End the conversation with Coach Z. You can try to look at the camera or items on the race track, but Coach Z will yell at you not to touch. Open the map and select Marzipan's house.
Marzipan is in the yard tending to her award-winning organic vegetable garden. Walk left to get to the back yard. On the way, look at the hedge between the two windows. Now talk to Marzipan. Ask about the party and she'll tell you why you're not invited (it has something to do with an eye patch and a big cake). Ask about the hedge. Marzipan wants to trim it, but her hedge shears are at Bubs'. Finally, ask about the Snake Boxer 5 manual. Marzipan says she gave it to Coach Z.
When you exit the conversation, Bubs' will be added to the map. Before you go, take a look at the Homestar Runner float in the yard. It's made out of papier-mâché. Go to the vegetable bed on the left and grab an onion. Then open the map and go to Bubs'.
Talk to Bubs, who is working behind the counter at his stand. He knows today is the day you were planning to pummel Homestar (as he reads all your email!). Ask Bubs about the hedge shears, and he'll give them to you. Exit the conversation.
Run to the left until you reach an overgrown hedge (it's near The Stick). Time to see what these hedge shears can do! Select them from your inventory and use them on the overgrown hedge.
After Strong Bad cuts the hedge down to size, there are some hedge trimmings left behind on the ground. Take them.
Keep running left until you reach the Snap Shak photo booth. This is where any costume items you find during the game are stored. (You start with a few by default.) Try on a costume, then go to the studio area on the left side of the photo booth and strike a pose. You can snap some pictures here, which the game will store for you. If you're playing the Wii version of the game, you can go back to Strong Bad's Lappy and send these to your Wii friends! (If you're playing the PC version, you can still email the pictures to a friend using your regular email program. You'll find the stored pictures in your My Documents folder.)
The photo booth is just for messing around; it doesn't play a role in the story. In fact, until you've completed the story part of Homestar Ruiner, you won't be able to wear costume items out of the photo booth. Don't worry; they'll be stored there until you come back for them later!
When you return to the field, keep running left until you get back to Bubs'. The locations you've just passed should now be on your map. Open the map and return to the track.
Walk left to the locker room. As you enter, you'll see a flashing email icon in the upper left corner of the game window—you've got mail! But don't get distracted, we're here for a reason. Homestar is in the locker room too, fresh out of the shower. There's a row of lockers here. This is where the athletes store their clothes and other belongings.
Have a chat with Homestar. You can try to convince him that he smells and needs a shower, but even Homestar isn't that dumb. Give him the onion you took from Marzipan's garden. Homestar believes you when you tell him that onions will help him win the race. (Okay, maybe he really is that dumb.) Talk to Homestar, and once again tell him he needs a shower. This time he falls for it! He tosses his clothes into a locker and hits the showers.
While Homestar's busy cleaning himself, go over to the lockers. Homestar's is the one in the middle Open it and take his clothes. Congratulations, you now have one half of a Homestar Runner costume! But unless you find a way to disguise your face, you won't fool anyone. Where have you seen a giant papier-mâché Homestar head lately?
Take out Homestar's cell phone and call Marzipan. Impersonating Homestar, Strong Bad will tell Marzipan to come to the track. Now you can vandalize her float uninterrupted! Open the map and select Marzipan's.
Without his clothes, Homestar has no choice but to streak out of the locker room. Watch out—pixilated nudity!
Since Marzipan's not here, grab the balloons from the mailbox. Go back to look at the Homestar float. It's time to separate that head from its body. Use the hedge shears on the float and watch the fireworks.
Marzipan wasn't too happy. But who cares? You now have a complete Homestar costume, which means you can compete in the Race to the end of the Race!
Return to the track. Put on the costume and talk to Coach Z. This triggers the start of the race. To win, you need to meet two conditions: 1) outrun Pom Pom, and 2) beat Coach Z's record-breaking time, which is 22 seconds. There are three parts to the race:
Well, that didn't go so well. Pom Pom is the undisputed winner, and "Homestar" the unequivocal loser. To make this worse, Marzipan wants to break up, and the earlier streaking incident has led to a public nudity charge from the King of Town. It's a good thing all of this happened to "Homestar" and not our hero Strong Bad…
Strong Bad heads home to find Homestar, disgraced and depressed, camped out on his couch with no intention of leaving any time soon. Irony!!
Your goal now is to get Homestar out of the house. Talk to him and he'll say he's depressed about having a criminal record. You'll need to get it back from the King of Town before Homestar will vacate the couch. Desperate times call for desperate measures!
Leave the TV room and go upstairs. (On the way through the laundry room, make sure to kick the Cheat!) Go into Strong Bad's room. Hey! Homestar's in here, too! And this time he's monopolizing the drawing table. Talk to him about Teen Girl Squad. Homestar won't let you use the desk until he's finished with his opus graphic novel about a guy who wins a big, important race. He seems pretty preoccupied by the devastating FCUTRER loss earlier. You'll have to make that right before Homestar will clear out of here. (At least you can still play Snake Boxer!)
Go into the kitchen. Surprise, surprise… Homestar's here. He's trying to cook something special for Marzipan to win back her love, but it's not going so well. Wouldn't it be easier to just buy her some vegan candy instead?
Look at the kitchen table. There's a huge crate of Jela-Ton here (it's the second-place prize from the race). Strong Bad adds it to his inventory.
Remember you got an email earlier? Better go check it! Go upstairs to the computer room and select the Lappy. There are several in the inbox. They're all fun to read, but the one that moves the story forward is from TILT INC., entitled "Got Bulk?"
The email is an offer for Total Load Total Body Energy Enhancing Powder. Of course Strong Bad wants a free sample! He writes back to accept the offer. Check email again, and you'll see a confirmation in Strong Bad's inbox from TILT INC. entitled "Total Load Arrival". You can pick up the Total Load at Bubs'. Leave the Lappy and select Bubs' from the map.
Talk to Bubs about Total Load, and Bubs will give you the free sample. Then ask if he has any candy. Bubs will give you some for free, but only if you bring him a coupon. He was handing them out earlier down by the track.
Exit the conversation with Bubs and open Strong Bad's inventory. Use the Total Load on Strong Bad to make him read the label. Hmm… this stuff doesn't exactly sound legal. Maybe you can use it to help Strong Bad win the race?
Open the map and select the track.
The coupons Bubs mentioned are here, next to the bleachers. Take the whole stack. Now it's time to rig the race. Open Strong Bad's inventory and take the Jela-Ton. Use this on the water where the log is. The Jela-Ton will firm up the water so the log can't roll around. Next, use the balloons from Marzipan's on the Heavy Lourde, to lighten it up. Finally, go over to the area where the turtle, milk carton, and hurdle are. Select the turtle and swap it with the milk carton. Then, select the milk carton and swap it with the hurdle. Now the items are arranged from highest to lowest, which means that Strong Bad will have an easier time jumping over them before he gets worn out.
Put on your Homestar costume and go over to the camera near the bleachers. Strong Bad will push the "Erase" button, destroying the evidence of Pom Pom's win. Looks like you'll have to run the race again, and this time you have a fighting chance!
If you finish in less than 22 seconds, you'll beat Coach Z's time, but Pom Pom was still faster. You need to find a way to disqualify him. Go into the locker room and open the locker on the left. Use the Total Load on Pom Pom's exercise bag. Now go over and knock on Coach Z's door. Talk to him about Total Load, and he'll catch Pom Pom red-handed. With Pom Pom disqualified, "Homestar" is now the winner of the Free Country USA Triannual Race to the End of the Race!
Go back to the House of Strong to tell Homestar the good news.
Give the Silver Trophy of Ultimate Destiny to Homestar. (It doesn't matter which room you do this in; the game will teleport you to Strong Bad's room, where Homestar is working on his comic about winning the Race to the End of the Race.) Strong Bad will clonk him on the head with the heavy trophy. When Homestar comes to, he'll believe he has won the race. Great! You've succeeded in getting Homestar out of Strong Bad's bedroom, but he's still messing up the kitchen and monopolizing the TV. You need to clear his good name, repair his broken relationship, and make him feel like a winner before he'll leave you alone. Let's start with the criminal record. Open the map and select the King of Town's castle.
Enter the castle. You'll arrive in the hall of records. The Poopsmith is here, shoveling… err… poop (Strong Mad is standing guard in another room, and if the Poopsmith notices you, he'll come running and toss you out). As long as the Poopsmith is shoveling, you're free to sneak around, but when he starts to move, you'd better hide!
There are three rooms. Here's what's important about each one:
From the hallway, enter Room 1. First, grab the shovel near the door. Then select the statue of the King of Town. Strong Bad will hide behind the drumstick. Wait for the Poopsmith to return to his shoveling, and then hide behind the cake-shaped privacy screen. Stay hidden while the Poopsmith crosses the room. When he starts shoveling again, make your way to Room 2 and grab the plunger. If needed, you can hide behind the conveniently shaped bonsai tree while in this room.
If you try to enter Room 3, Strong Mad will see you and throw you out. Instead, make your way back to Room 1 and use the plunger on the drain in the wall (there's yellow goo nearby to mark it). Now you have a way to get into the ceiling vent, which will allow you to travel unseen to Room 3, where Homestar's criminal record is. But first you need to get Strong Mad out of Room 3 so you can grab the criminal record.
Reveal yourself to the Poopsmith so he summons Strong Mad. Quickly, before Strong Mad can catch you, jump up on the plunger and then go through the ceiling vent. You're now in a crawlspace above the rooms. Run all the way to the end and grab Homestar's criminal record from the podium. Strong Mad will run in and catch you, but that's okay. You have the evidence!
Go back home and give the criminal record to Homestar. Great, that got him off the couch! Now you just have to cure his lovesick soul. He mentioned that Marzipan likes candy, and you just happen to have coupons for some free candy in your inventory…
Open the map and select Bubs' Concession Stand. Give a candy coupon to Bubs. He'll give you a box of chocolate-covered organic packing peanuts. Sounds gross, but then again, it also sounds like something Marzipan would like (she has weird taste). Head to Marzipan's.
Try leaving the candy at Marzipan's front door. Before she can get to the front door, the King of Town will sneak up and steal it. Go back to Bubs' for another box of candy. Good thing you have a whole stack of those coupons!
Back at Marzipan's, put your shovel to good use by digging a hole in the loose dirt near the mailbox. If you just leave an open hole, the King of Town will see it and go around it. Take the hedge clippings from your inventory and put them over the hole. Now use the candy on Marzipan's door. The King of Town falls right into the hole you dug, and Marzipan has time to come out and get the candy. She calls Homestar and leaves him a message to thank him for the gift. Score!
Go home and give Homestar his cell phone. His face will light up when he hears Marzipan's message. The happy couple is together again. At last, Strong Bad has the house all to himself! Or does he…?
Surprise! Since you ruined Marzipan's back yard, Homestar's victory party has been moved into your kitchen. You can ask the interlopers to leave, but it won't do any good. You need to find a way to clear the decks, quick!
Turn on the See Dee Spinner to play a little music. The first selection is "The Best of Brit Pout, the 90s Years." This music makes everyone depressed. Select the See Dee spinner again and you'll hear Coach Z's demo. Next on the playlist is "Jane's Austentacious Chamber Music Jam": very cultured, but not right for this crowd. The final option is "The Cheat's assorted Latin Rhythms". The group breaks into a conga line. At least now they're on the move! How can you get them to move right out of the house?
Select the Luxa Lounger to put it in its "ridiculously overextended mode". This forces the conga line to change course, coming dangerously close to the open window. Go back to the kitchen table and grab the banana peel from the floor. Go over to the window to the left of the smoke detector and See Dee Spinner. Wait for the conga line to approach, then use the banana peel on them. The line must be headed towards the window for this to work!
Yes! The crowd has dispersed! And you even managed to beat the snot out of Homestar.
After the credits, you'll see a sweet preview for the next episode of Strong Bad's Cool Game for Attractive People, Strong Badia the Free. When this ends, you'll be taken back to the main menu. To enter Extended Play mode, go into the Save/Load menu and load the top save slot. You can now walk around the game world and keep talking to people and racking up achievements. You can even wear your costumes around outside of the photo booth!
While in Extended Play mode, you might want to save the game in one of the other save slots, since the auto-save slot will be overwritten the next time you start a new game.
Official Strong Bad's Cool Game for Attractive People: Homestar Ruiner walkthrough © 2008 Telltale Games. Do not repost without permission.
We're kicking the Strong Bad season off properly with a new list of under-the-surface joke-type things that you might have missed during your first time playing through Homestar Ruiner. This list has been compiled by designer/writer Mike Stemmle and our intrepid QA team.
This section provides solutions on how to complete your overall Awesomeness Chart and achieve the highest possible rank in Homestar Ruiner. Once a statistic in your chart turns green, you've reached optimum awesome levels for that section. While several aspects of your overall awesomeness deal with uncovering and collecting hidden items, this guide does not reveal every hidden joke and easter egg in the game; for that, you might want to try out the "Did you try" section. It also does not provide hints or a solution to the story part of the game; that stuff is all in the walkthrough.
There are four hidden costume items that will help out your awesomeness level when you find them all. They are:
Please Note: You must complete the phone pranks task during regular play, before you give the phone back to Homestar. Prank calling is not available in Extended Play.
Using Homestar's phone that he ditched at the track, prank call seven of the other citizens of Free Country USA. You will not have the option to call someone who is at the same location as you. For instance, if you are at the track, you cannot call Coach Z until you change location, even if you're outside and he's in his office. Once you are able to prank call everyone, you will see an option to call Homsar. After doing so, you will be done with this task.
Scattered throughout the areas in the game are five extra cards for Teen Girl Squad that you can use to get a higher score in the minigame. Here's how to find them all:
Here's how to find the SB5 instruction manual pages, in order to get the cheat code:
Certain actions you undertake in the game will lead to making progress towards—and ultimately obtaining—trophies. Here are the trophies you can earn in Homestar Ruiner, and the steps on how to achieve them.
The focus of this trophy is the thorough examination of the stuff in the game world. Have you heard everything Strong Bad has to say about the numerous objects and locations in Free Country USA? Here are the tasks you need to do to get this trophy:
This trophy is awarded to you once you clip all of the ugly hedges scattered throughout the game locations. In case you missed one, here are the locations:
This trophy involves, by and large, being the best Strong Bad you can be. And to do that, of course, you must be a jerk at every possible opportunity. Here's how to get this trophy:
Get Strong Sad to leave the House of Strong. It's good for his asthma! Coax him out by doing the following:
While your first run-through of the F.C.U.T.R.E.R. is generally going to be pretty terrible, once you manipulate the stages of race in your favor (see the walkthrough if you need help with this), you can post much better times. While the main goal is to beat Coach Z's posted time, you can re-run the race by continuing to erase the official race video.
If you've already gotten Pom Pom disqualified, the plot will advance as soon as you beat the Coach's time, and you won't be able to redo the race for a little while. However, you'll be able to run it again after you get to Extended Play mode; just click on the starting line at the track.
If you are able to run the race in under 16 seconds, you will maximize your awesomeness level in this achievement.
Maximizing your awesomeness level in Snake Boxer 5 requires a fair bit of skill, as you will have to reach 15 knockouts without dying before the number turns green in the chart. One thing that will likely help you out is the cheat code that you can learn by collecting all of the SB5 manual pages. However, the code (↑ ↑ ↓ ↑ + Start Game) will work regardless of whether you have collected the pages yet. This cheat code transforms Boxer Joe into a powerful cobra snake with faster attacks and blocking ability. In addition, holding block will charge the "snake fire" attack which, when successfully executed, will deal the equivalent of 3 punches to the enemy snake. This can be particularly effective because you are invulnerable while charging. From there, it's a matter of timing to hit the snake with the burst of fire and also avoiding being "bited" [sic].
Your goal is to set up the most elaborate, gruesome cartoon deaths for the Teen Girls, and you can achieve the maximum score (5000 big points) by finding all of the bonus cards hidden throughout the game world, and then using them on the appropriate character at the right time. Here's what a high-scoring cartoon might look like:
During the extra turns between the first scene and the basketball game, be sure to avoid triggering any other kinds of teen girl deaths. For instance, using the hairspray before the game will get one girl killed as soon as the game scene arrives. Once you achieve the maximum point value, you'll unlock the Roach card, which can be used on any Teen Girl to help achieve maximum score in future cartoons you want to make.
You should now be maximally awesome. Even if you did use a sneaky guide to help you achieve this rank, we're still marginally proud of your accomplishments. Thanks for playing!
Having trouble detecting the hidden items with the Black Metal Detector? Here are some screenshots that should help you recover the items needed for completion of your awesomeness chart: